Sunday, October 24, 2010

This ain't no lovegame, honey

i am not second best.
i am not the last resort.
i will not be here for you whenever you feel you want me around.
i will not be your consolation prize.

i know who i am and what i'm about.
i love me.
i know my worth.
i know that i have a lot to offer; and believe me baby: i am willing and available to offer.
but you will work for it, it isn't given freely.
and you will earn it, just as i will earn you in return.
are you worthy of my heart, my mind, and my whole being?

Thursday, October 7, 2010

The Greenest Fields I Knew

it's funny to look back and know that i now live in texas. the place that i loved vacationing to and never wanted to leave... the field that was always greener because it was a fence i could never climb. but now being here, it seems that it's changed so much since i last visited. and in the 2 months that i've been here i've met a lot more bullshitters, death dealers, and undertakers than i ever have when i lived in and around philly.

yet, i continue to try. "why?", you might ask. because i'm playing out the hands that i'm dealt in the best way i know how. and because i will not allow you to bring me down, nor keep me from rising above.

not everyone has been bad, though. there've been a few lights amongst the darkness, and they tend to keep me going. it's almost like they become my "patronas charms" against the shadows and the secrets. I don't want to hear any excuses, and I'm done with the bullshit & the lies. I am finding my happiness with or without you. I am living my life with or without you.

i see my future and i am working and reaching for it. do you want to reach for it with me?