Saturday, August 7, 2010

What I want want want is what you want want want...

So... It's been a while since I've posted anything. Partly because I feel lost...partly because I have everything to say but don't know what to say.

I'm trying to settle into life in TX, but it feels like I'm fighting my way up-stream. Nothing has gone right so far, sans getting picked up from the airport. Everyday feels like a reminder of what I lost and I find myself welling up with anger sometimes at the most random moments.

I miss him and our life so much, but part of the anger is that it was one-sided. I turned to him when I needed solace or answers, and kept being told everything's alright...when it really wasn't. Do I feel like I was strung along? Yes. Do I feel like I was lied to? In some respects, yes.

I have so many questions for him and yet I don't know how to express them. I am tired of unrequited love, but my heart still feels for him.

I want to know what I want; I want to know what I need; I want to know what I should do.

1 comment:

  1. I think you're fighting yourself and your own expectations Joe. Just let go and release your inhibitions.